The best things in life are free

Today I picked up a swing set, a tramp & a few other small kids toys, ALL FOR FREE. I am scab LOL. My half sister has moved & left behind a heap of her kids things as she claims they are no longer interested in these things. So I took the chance to get some great backyard play equipment for my kids. Normally I would expect to pay $200 for the swing set, I have no idea how much a tramp goes for these days. Its a small one, perfect for my 4 & 2 yr old boys to play on. There was also a battery charged motorbike thing, which I already regret taking as the boys fight over it & wont give it a chance to charge up fully before taking it off the charger. The best thing about not paying for it, is if they continue to fight over it I will have no problems chucking it in the bin!

Some of my fondest memorys are playing in the backyard on the swings & tramp. I remember how me & my older sister Elizabeth would stand the tramp up on its side & run at it so that when it landed back on its legs we would bounce on the mat. Can't do that with this little one but still. Evan thinks its fantastic.
I remember the swing we had, it was just a single one, not like this set which has a swing, a seasore & a hanging bar thing, Oh & one of those double sided chair thingys. Anyway the one we had growing up was just a single swing & I can remember we would swing on it so high it would make the legs jump from the ground.

I am a scammer, not that I scammed these things from my sister. She knows I took them, I even offered to give them back once she has moved in to her new place but she doesn't want them. But I will go out of my way to get something for free or cheaper if the opportunity presesnts itself.

5th Of May ~ Serenity ~

A poem I wrote for my sister on the Expected Due date of her Angel baby ~ Serenity ~ who was born sleeping @ 15 weeks

Today is a special day,
Its ok to shed a tear.
There is a place in your heart for me,
I know you hold so dear.

Why did I have to leave?
Before this day had come.
They tell me that you're special,
You're my special mum.

I wish I got to look at you,
Gaze into those loving eyes.
I feel the love you have for me,
Love that strong never dies.

I come and visit often,
You know that I am here.
I get to feel your warmth,
When you hold my brother near.

I hope he gets to know me,
I love to run and play.
He will tell you stories about me,
And ask why I couldn't stay.

They talk about you fondly,
All the angels up here.
They say I'm really lucky,
That its you who holds me near.

Today is a special day,
I love you, my mother dear.
Hold on to my big brother tightly,
So I can hold you near.

A Poem for an Angel ~ Serenity ~

Sometimes life bestows us Troubles we think we can not bare
Its hard to think about tomorrow And know you wont be there
But in this sorrow I find honourTo think that you were mine
Even though you graced my presence For much to short a time
I get to only imagine The man you would have been
I can only feel the shadows Of the sights you would have seen
My heart is filled with sadness
To never hear your voice
To never feel your laughter And to not be given a choice
I love you my little son You will always travel in my heart
And ill try to remember your always there
Though every moment we share is apart
I can not write this as goodbye Those words will never come
For I know one day you'll be smiling at me
And I will see again the face of you, my beautiful son.

By Elizabeth ~ Serenity, Born Sleeping @ 15weeks ~ 7th Of November 2004

Enjoy these last few weeks.

Enjoy these last few weeks as a mother to be.
Relax by the TV sipping cups of camomile tea.

Take a deep bath and watch your precious bump
kick and roll,as sleepless nights will soon take their toll.

As the big day draws near cuddle up with a good book and read.
As all the rest you can get will soon become a big need.

When nesting sets in, cook dinners to freeze
because believe me you won't get time when two becomes three.

Pack your bag now and have it by the door ready to go.
For when that baby is ready to come you can just grab it and go!

Apologise now for things you might say.
As pain can take over on the big day.

Remember to breathe and get a back rub.
When the pain gets too bad, ask for the spa
it works wonders, to relax in the tub.

When the hard work is done and your special bump is gone
In your arms will be an angel A new daughter or son.

Enjoy these last few weeks as a mother to be.
Relax by the TV sipping cupsof camomile tea.

By Fiona Fuller

The Birth Of Isla Jewel ~ 6th Of November 2006

Well this i's going to be one of the shortest birth stories around I think!I was 41 + 4 days overdue. I was dead set against making this baby comebefore she was ready. I was delighted when I started to get some tighteningin my back on Saturday evening, yet when I went to bed they all fizzled out.Sunday night I had some more, nothing major. Then at 8.30pm I had a show! Iwas like YAY!!! & thought for sure that things would be happening bymorning. But again nothing much happned.Monday morning rolled around & still nothing major to report. I went intothe hospital for my daily montioring on the CTG machine & also a check withthe Ob. The Ob on duty didn't even look at me, or speak to me! The midwifejust kept going back & forth between us. She said after doign the CTG thatshe wanted to do an internal, to which I agreed as I wanted to know if thetightening I had been getting were doing anything. I was 4cms! Off she wentback to the Ob to report her findings & then back again to me to tell me hewanted her to break my waters. To which I replied with a firm NO!So later that day I had to have an U/S done to check everyone was stillhappy.I went home, We all went for a long walk & I started to get the tighteningsa bit closer together, about every 10 to 15 mins apart. We headed home so Icould have a rest & then off to the U/S. U/s showed that all was well & noreason to rush her. But even the u/s guy sound this will be your last u/s,she is really well down.Mum came around later that afternoon, she planned on sitting up at the localshops till I rang for her to come to look after the boys. But I tol dher notto be silly, if she is keen to be here to just come now. I honestly didn'tthink that I would be needing her to well into the night, early hours ontuesday. So there was no way I was letting her sit at the local takeawaytill then!The tightenings became about 10 mins apart, yet still not what I would callcontractions. I joked with DH that it would be good if it call hold off tilljust after the boys go to sleep & then they will be none the wiser & therewould be no tears when they where left with Grandma.Who knew that this was excactly what happened! Mum pretended to leave justbefore we took the boys to bed so that there was no distraction with gettingthem asleep & as soon as I was able to leave their room, the NOWcontractions started rolling in between 5 & 10 mins apart. DH came out fromthe boys at 9.30 & said he was going to try & sleep. So mum sat up with me &again I joked with DH that I will give him 1/2 an hour & then off to thehospital. Well come 10pm the contractions were now 4 to 6 mins apart, butstill barable. I thought I better call the hospital & find out when I shouldgo in seems I needed IV antibiotics for GBS+ before the birth. The midwifesaid well you are a bit huffy & puffy, you should probably head in now. So Ipottered around a bit getting my bags etc & when in to DH & said well I gaveyou a bit extra but its time to go. We left home at 10.30pm & in the car thecontractions started to hit closer together & while they were more painful Iput it down to the way I was sitting in the car. About 10.45pm we arrived atthe hospital & went in through emergency when the lady at the desk justlooked at me & said Maternity? I smiled & said Yep! She offered me awheelchair but I said Nah, I'm right & even used the stairs over the lift.Once we got to the birthing suit Jenny, the midwife on duty wanted to put meon the CTG machine. I wasn't too keen about this as again I was sitting justlike I was in the car & I couldn't handle the pain the way I wanted in thatposition. I argued & said this is Bull ****! But she basically said too bad,I need you on there for 20 minutes. I kept saying I can't stay like this itsmaking it harder & has changed the pain. She said the babys heart rate wastoo high (around 175 -180 ) & that she needed to see it slow down a bit. Isaid that it was high because of the way I was sitting, she was kickingabout also, so I knew she wasn't comfortable either. Jenny finally agreed toletting me sit on the edge of the bed if the monitor could still get a goodreading once she had performed an internal. I was 5 cms.Sitting on the edge of the bed wasn't alot better but the babys heart ratedid settle back down to 155 - 160 ish. This is when I got all teary & said Ididn't want to do this anymore. Simon said YOU can do this, you have done itbefore you know you can. I said I know I can, but I don't want too! Jennyput in the IV catheter, which she blew the vein on! So then had to use myother hand. Once that was in & she gave me the IV Ab's she let me get offthe monitor & get up. I said I wanted to get in the shower, so headed to thebathroom & leaned on the towel rail while another contraction hit, Simon wasjust coming in to turn the shower on & I said I need to push! Quickly! Heran out & called for Jenny who came running back in & said WHAT, already! Soshe helped me back to the bed & I said I don't want to be on my back. Shegot Simon to raise the bed so I could lean over the side of the bed while Istood on the floor. Jenny was getting her table of things ready when I saidI can't hold this back much longer & She said thats ok, just go with it.Again I said No I think you should be down there! She came over & told Simonto push the yellow button on the wall. I didn't realise he couldn't reachbecause I had his hands. Again Jenny said PUSH THE BUTTON! He said I can'treach it, LET GO OF HER HAND & PUSH THE BUTTON! Simon again said she wontlet go, this is when I realised & let go & started saying Sorry as Jennysaid PULL AWAY FROM HER & PUSH THE BUTTON!I was standing there with my left leg cocked up in the air & there was a pop& a splash on the floor. Jenny told me to put my leg down, but I said Ican't. Jenny had to grab my leg & put my foot on the floor. I felt like thefloor was a good metre below my foot. But Once I had it down I started tobare down. I wouldn't say I pushed, But my body did. I felt that buring pain& thought here we go. There was another sting as my body pushed & then asplash on the floor as more fluid was relased. I asked if the head out yet,to which Jenny replied the whole baby is out! 11.35pm she was born.I hosnestly couldn't believe it! I was just shocked that she was alreadyout. I received my baby from in between my legs & placed her on the bed infront of me & just patted her all over while saying "Oh good girl!" Over &over again. Even Simon said its amazing how I went from the "i'm in pain"mode to giggly & pretty much speach less in a matter of seconds, well in thetime I took Jenny to say "the whole baby is out" . The second midwife in theroom Ila (yep I was just as shocked that the assisting midwifes name wasalso Ila, spelt different but still). Jabbed me with the syntocin to helpwith the placenta. I think if I was aware she was going to do it I would ofasked not to have it. I am not bothered that I did get it, as I had my babygirl. But I said Oh you bugger! you got me good! She snuck up behind me & Ididn't even realise till I felt the sting what she was doing. Actually sheis lucky I was all giddy about the quick birth otherwise I might havepunched her one LOL. 3rd stage happened very quick as well, no pain & littlebleeding.Simon cut the cord & had a cuddle while I got up on the bed. She was put onthe breast & she took to it like any true ABA counsellors baby should! Shestayed there for a good 40 minutes & then some more on the other side. Onceshe was finished she was weighed etc.8lb 4 oz, HC 34.5cm & 51 cm long. Except for head, she went from beingexpected to be my smallest baby yet to my biggest! She also took the longestto decide to come yet the shortest of labours. We aimed for less the 6 hours& I hadn't even been at the hospital an hour! My active labour was recoeded as 2 hours. Well that turned out to be longer then expected but wow she came out quick!I had not even a graze! Who was it that posted about the body naturally"vomiting" the baby out?? Again I don't like the description but I don'tthink I physically pushed her out. My body did all the work on its own. All future babys will born with me standing up! it was so easy!
Isla is now almost 5 months old & breastfeeding like a champ. I dare say she will also breastfeed well beyond 12 months & selfwean with my next pregnancy. Yep I plan on more!

The Birth of Glenn Joseph ~ 28th Of August 2004

My due date was the 25th of August, again I had a pretty good pregnancycompared to most & my Midwife was happy to let my baby come when he wasready. Simon had been working most nights till about 4 in the morning, as weneed all the money we could get so he was doing all the overtime that hecould get. Lying in bed on Tuesday night, the day before I was due. I sentSimon a text message telling him that I thought it would be a good idea tocome home early tonight as I was getting back pains every 20 minutes andwhile I didn't think anything was going to happen that night I thought itbest that he get a good night sleep. I finally fell asleep around 1 am andwhen I woke the next morning nothing was happening. I stayed close to homethough, as I thought things where going to start happening. But I was wrong.Soon Wednesday became Thursday and Thursday became Friday. I had another midwife appointment at lunchtime so we plodded about till then and thenwent in. I told her about Tuesday night and that I thought I had a show onthe Wednesday, she told me that it was likely just my body getting in somepractice and to expect things to happen soon. She offered to do an internalto see if it helped to get things happening, but I said I was happy tojust wait and see. She popped me on the monitor for half an hour to justcheck on things and then gave me a referral for an ultrasound on thefollowing Thursday if I had not had the baby by then and said to come backnext Friday. As much as I was happy to let things happen on there own, I wasgetting a little sick of waiting for the baby to arrive. I didn't have towait long though. That night around 8pm I had more of a show, I was surethis time that that is what it was. My mum called that night telling me thatthey were going out and also that she had to go to a work thing inparramatta in the morning so I wasn't to go having the baby. Later I wastalking on the phone with a friend and telling her about the pains I had onTuesday when they started again. We timed them at less than 10 minutes apartbut as far as pain went it was nothing at all really. As the night went onthese pains hung around and by 1 am I got out of bed as they were becomingrather painful & I didn't want to disturb Simon or Evan, both asleep next tome. I watched some TV and timed the contractions. By 3 am they were justunder 5 minutes apart and hard to talk through. I thought it was best togive the hospital a call and see what they though I should do. The Midwife Ispoke with told me it would be a good idea to call my support team as bothmy Mother and Sister lived a little bit away. The idea was to have my mumthere for me and Simon, and My older sister Elizabeth there to look afterEvan during the actual birth. I really didn't want to call anyone at 3 inthe morning so I hung tight. I was getting pretty tired so I tried to sleepand somewhere around 5 or 6 am I managed to sleep for about an hour, but Iwas still getting contractions. I called my mum at 7.30 and when sheanswered the phone she just said "your kidding right?" I told her that Iwas pretty sure I was going to be having a baby before the end of the day.She said to call her back in half an hour and she would ring around to seeif she could get out of going to her work commitment. In the mean time Icalled Elizabeth, a phone call I wasn't looking forward to, as she is wellknown for her bad moods if you wake her in the mornings! I had sent her afew messages during the night warning her I was going to call. She said whenshe heard the phone ringing she looked at her mobile and saw my messages, soluckily she knew I was only waking her at this early hour for a good reason.She said she was going to go back to bed for an hour then organise herlittle man and then would head over. I called the hospital and the midwifesaid it was best to come in and get checked so I woke Simon and told him toget ready. I then called my Mum back and told her that she would probably befine to go to her seminar and still be back before I had the baby but shesaid no I'm coming with you. I was glad to hear this. Its the only time Iamhappy to admit that I need my mum! I floated about the house getting the last few things together in myhospital bag and getting lunch and snacks ready for Evan while Simon gotready and Evan woke up. We headed off at 8.30am. On the way to the hospitalMum calls my mobile asking were I am, she actually beat me there! Once wegot there we headed up to the birthing suits & buzzed to let them know I wasthere. I said over the intercom "Its Fiona Fuller, you're expecting me asI'm expecting". We got settled in and at 9 I had my first internal and wasover the moon that I was 4 cm. I was so happy that I was already dilating.My midwife sent me off to do some walking. I gathered my support team and weheaded down stairs to the hospital courtyard. I hate walking so it was hardto keep walking about. Simon constantly had to tell me to stop talking andstart walking! Lunchtime soon arrived and things were still pretty early.Ihad another internal only to find that I was still only 4 cm. My midwifesuggested that I go home for a few hours and then come back but Elizabethwas already on her way and it was a long trip for everyone to go home onlyto have to come back again later. So off we went to do more walking. Thehospital had a fate on that day so Mum took Evan down to have a look around.Simon and I headed down stairs to have a look too but I didn't want to walkanymore and I was still in my PJs so I just hung about near the hospitaldoors. Elizabeth arrived soon later and we all headed back up to thebirthing suits. I was getting pretty hungry and wanted to eat. As the daywent on my contractions become more painful but still nothing I couldn'tcope with. Simon decided to take Evan for a drive in the car to get him tohave a sleep; it was looking to be a long day. Me, mum and my sister satabout talking about this that and the other thing. Simon and Evan came backabout an hour or so later. In the late afternoon Elizabeth took Evan forwalk up the street and bought him some toys to help keep him occupied. Mumand me decided to try and do some more walking, as my contractions seem tohave slowed down some. Simon stayed in the room to put his feet up as he wasgetting tired. He actually fell asleep so we left him there until Elizabethcame back with Evan and then stayed in the waiting room where the TV was fora bit longer while Evan played with his new cars. At 5pm there was shiftchange and my nice and understanding midwife was swapped for one who on myfirst impressions was going to be a cow. She gave me another internal andalthough my contractions had become more painful and we all thought that Iwould be at least 7 or 8 cms, I was still only 4cm!I couldn't believe it. Iwas so disappointed and started to cry. The midwife soon realized that I wastruly upset and softened up towards me and turned out to be rather nice andunderstanding, to me at least. She explained to me that even though I washaving contractions they were not constructive, the way one minute it wouldbe a long painful one and the next a shorter painful one meant that I wasnot actually getting much of a rhythm happening and not dilating. Shesuggested I hop in the spa for a while and see how things go.Once I was in the spa things did seem to become more intense and after anhour it was getting hard to cope with the pain. The pain seem to changeafter awhile and I was rather uncomfortable being in the spa but was soscared of getting out. My midwife suggested that seems the pain had changedthen I should try changing my coping technique. I said I was scared that IfI got out and nothing helped I would need a caesarean, I think she had totry and not laugh at me as she asked where I had gotten that idea from.Theyfinally convinced me to get out and try leaning over the gym ball. I foundin hard to get comfortable because the ball was not big enough for me, itwas meant for a short person! I was getting frustrated at being told to dothis and to try that. In the end I got up on the bed on my knee's leaningover the back of the bed. The nurse came in to give me another dose ofantibiotics and questioned what had happened to my catheter and wasdumbfounded when I said I didn't get put in as the first midwife just put inmy vein, as she couldn't get the catheter in. Off she ran to find a doctorwho could get a catheter in. It hurt so much and I cried. I was reallygetting to the point of not being able to cope with pain any more and hadsaid to my mum that I didn't want any drugs but I think I was going to needthem. She told the midwife who told me to hang in there for another halfhour and she would do another internal to see how I was going. Elizabethcame in and said she had to leave but wouldn't be far away if I needed her.So mum went and stayed with Evan so Simon could be with me. I didn't wantEvan to see me anymore, as it would have upset him to see his mum in so muchpain. Finally I had another internal and HOORAY I was 8 cms and the midwifesaid not to worry about the pethiden, as I would be having the baby soon. Iwas happy, this gave me the energy I needed to get through the rest of thebirth. Before long I felt I needed to push so the midwife said with thenext contraction to push, but being up on my knee's with my back to everyoneI was so self conscious of passing more then just a baby I could feel myselfholding back. I said I needed to change position. I couldn't stay that way.They tried talking me into staying in that position as it was a better way,and I know that it was but I couldn't help the way my body was reacting. Igot down and on my back. With each contraction as I tried to push I wouldget a shooting pain in my right hip that would stop the contraction, I laterlearned that a nerve was being pinched. Soon my baby's head was making hisits way down but it seemed forever. The midwife said that she thought he wasfacing the wrong way up, I panic and said "can't they get stuck that way"she said that yes they could but really didn't think it would be a problemwith me and made no mention of it again. As I pushed my waters started tocome out as they had not ruptured as of yet and the midwife nicked the bagto help them break. Now my boys head was just there, ready to enter theworld but he sat there for a while and thought about it. My god it waspainful I said to push him back up for a bit as I needed a break from thepain, but of course this wasn't done. The midwife stretched my leg up intothe air with the next contraction as I tried again to push my baby out butthe pain that caused in my hip again brought the contraction to a halt.Simon tried hard to encourage me but he couldn't put a word or foot right asfar as my midwife was concerned, she was so belittling towards him but Iappreciated his words of encouragement nonetheless.Someone stuck the head inthe door and said your sister is here and wants to come in, YES I said shecould come in here. Elizabeth was about to head home but thought she wouldcheck in to see if I had had the baby and made it just in time for thebirth. With Simon in one hand and Elizabeth on the other I finally pushed myboys big 38cm head out. The feeling of relief was a good one. With anotherpush his body was born and he was out. "Thank god" I said. I looked at Simonand said my god its Evan! Elizabeth ran to get mum and Evan so they couldmeet our new baby. Glenn Joseph. Evan was a little upset and confused butsoon came round. Simon cut the cord and then mum went with Glenn while hewas cleaned up and weighed and checked over. Evan and I had a cuddle andthen I got cleaned up and dressed. Another successful birth with out anytears or need for stitches and I did this one with out any drugs. Glennweighed a healthy 8 pound 3 and the midwifes where all amazed I managed topush his head out with out tearing. I later learnt that he was born facingup instead of down and that he had become a little stuck on the way, whichexplained why it took so long to get the head out. He took a few goes to getthe hang of breastfeeding but when he finally got the hang of it he was anold pro at it and never missed a beat. Hopefully I can go into my next birthwith a bit more under my belt and get through the next one with a bitshorter labor seems my first two wherevery similar and I know what I could do better next time to help them along,but I said that with this one too!
Glenn went onto breastfeed untill just past his 2nd birthday. Again he also self weaned as I was pregnant with Isla.

The Birth Of Evan James ~ 1st Of August 2002

My husband Simon & I waited patiently to see our obstetrician for my 39week check. When our name was called we went in & went through the usualchecks, blood pressure, weight, baby's position. The reality that I was going tohave a baby in one week started to sink in when our doctor informed us thathe would like to induce me if my baby didn't come on his own when I was due.He was concerned that the baby was too small to go overdue, as my belly wasstill quite small. We had had 2 growth scans to check that he was ok at 30weeks & at 34 weeks, the ultrasounds showed that he was fine, but our doctordidn't want to take any chances. Over the next week I read everything hadabout inductions, what was involved, the risks, the side affects & possibleoutcomes. I soon got myself in a state of worry that if I was induced Iwould end up needing a caesarean, that the drugs would interfere with mymilk coming in and that my baby would be distressed from the whole process.Simon came home from work one night to find me in tears with all theinformation in front of me, it wasn't until now that it really sunk in whatI was going to be going through in a few days He comforted me and tried toconvince me that I would do fine and our baby would be perfectly fine, butdeep down I was really scared. The weekend before I was due Simon's parentsarrived from North Queensland so they could be present for the arrival ofthe their first grandchild. As my due date got closer, I got stressed andtook it out on Simon and hisparents. I felt bad about it but they understood what I was going throughand just tried to stay out of my way. The 30th of July arrived, My due date.Nothing seemed to be happening, Ihadn't had any braxton hicks at all, only back pain that seemed to begetting worse. I went to lunch with my mum, we had a bit of a giggle at thelooks I was given when my proud mum told everyone we encountered that I wasdue to have my baby today, people didn't believe that I was actually 40weeks pregnant, because I didn't look it. The next day I was due to go & seethe obstetrician in the afternoon. He was going to do an internal to checkif my body was ready to be induced. I wasn't looking forward to as I hadnever had an internal before, but when I woke that morning around 8.30 I layin bed as my back was quite sore, come 9.30 I was hungry & busting to got tothe loo, so I got up and quickly crossed my legs, not realising that Ireally needed to get to the toilet as I thought I was going to wet myself.There was some blood when I went and I started to feel the nerves build upwhen I realised that I had had a show. I undressed and started to turn theshower on when I felt a warm trickle down my leg. I thought I must have lostcontrol of my bladder, I tried to tighten my pelvic floor muscles but itjust kept on leaking out. I got in the shower and tried to keep calm as Ilet the water run over me. After about 5 minutes I called Simon to come intothe bathroom. I asked him if he could have a look through the stuff thehospital had given us to see if you were meant to go in to the hospital whenyour waters broke, his face when white. He went and told his parents that Ithought my waters had broken, His mum told him to stay calm and get mythings ready to go. I called my mum to let her know what was happening, andshe said if she hadn't heard anything in an hour she would come to thehospital, as Iwanted her in with me. I was feeling a bit scared but I also felt happy thatI wasn't going to need an induction since things had started on there own.We got to the hospital at 10am and informed the midwife that I thought mywaters had broke. She took us to the birth suit and hooked me up to amonitor. It was picking up small contractions but I wasn't feeling them, soshe left us to settle in and to see if things would get started on theirown. but since I wasn't having strong regular contractions she said thatthey would hook me up to the drip to give things a move on. I wasn't happyabout it but wanted what was best for the baby and that was getting him out.Mum arrived for a pretty uneventful day. I still wasn't having strongcontractions but as the day went on I was beginning to notice when one washappening. By lunch time they still hadn't started the drip, they said thatthey might leave me til the morning, so there was enough staff on and so Iwasn't in labour in the middle of the night. This got me a bit worried asI thought the longer it was left after the membranes had ruptured, thehigher the risk of infection was. But my midwife told us that it was OK toleave it up to 24 hours. We spent most of the day listening to the otherwomen having their babies, and having a giggle about the sounds they weremaking. One sounded like a cow and another screamed so loud for what seemedlike forever. Little did I know that I was going to be doing the same thingbut louder the next day. By 4 pm still nothing had happened. So I had myfirst internal and was told that my cervix was posterior and closed I juststarted to cry. Simon and my mum where taking my things over to the wardwhen I heard my older sister asking the midwife where she could find me. Istuck my head out the door & said here I am. She asked how I was and Istarted to cry again and told her that I was no were near having my baby,she gave me a hug and said not to worry. I had to stay in the hospital thatnight, but I just wanted to go home. I had never had to stay in hospitalbefore and hadn't spent a night away from Simon for a long time. I didn'twant anyone one to leave, but come the end of visiting hours the midwifecame in and asked if my sister and mum could go, but Simon could stay alittle longer. At 9.30pm the midwife came in to check my temperature andblood pressure, and she said Simon would have to go soon, so reluctantly Itold him to go ( as my mum was waiting down stairsfor Simon to take her home) while the midwife was still in the room with me.I didn't sleep at all that night, I just sobbed and walked around the ward.By the early hours of the morning I was feeling a little better about beingthere on my own, but I was too sore to lie down. Eventually I found acomfortable position to sit in with my head leaning over the bed on thepillows. The contractions had gotten a lot more noticeable but it was mainlymy back that was causing all the pain. I was still awake when the firstsigns of daylight started to creep through the ward. I was so tired butthere was no way I was going to get any sleep. Simon arrived just after 7amand he hadn't gotten much sleep either. Our midwife came in to take me overto the birth suite, and at 7.30am I was hooked up to the drip to get thingsgoing. She put me on the monitor to see what was happening. We noticed thatevery time I had a contraction, the baby's heart rate would drop, so Simonasked the midwife to come and check the reading. She had the obstetriciancome in and check. He said that the baby just didn't like his head beingsquashed with the contraction, it was nothing to worry about. I was told towalk around as much as possible, but by 9.30 the pain was too much and I hadto stop every few minutes when a contraction hit. I went back to the birthsuite, but the mid wife told me to keep walking. By this time Simon'sparents had arrived and all 4 of us walked the corridor outside thematernity ward. Up and down, stopping every few minutes. Around 10, I wentback to the birth suite as it was just too much. I sat on the bed, on thebig ball, the bean bag, but nothing was comfortable. The Midwife came inevery 15 minutes and each time she asked if things had changed, I told herit was still the same. She thought I meant that I hadn't had a contractionsince the last time she came in, so she kept turning the drip up, but what Imeant was that I had 8 contractions since she last came in just like thetime before. The next time she came in I explained myself a bit clearer, soshe turn the drip down a little. Simon gave my Mum a call to tell her thingshad started, she said she would finish her morning shift and take the restof the day off to come in. At 12pm, I had another internal only to find Iwas only 2cm. I couldn't believe it, I thought after all this pain I wouldbe further, little did I know it was going to get worse before to long.After the internal I got into the spa. The pain of each contraction soon hadme bawling my eyes out, but I still managed to eat some lunch as I wasstarving. Not long after I was in what seemed to be the peak of the pain,boy was I wrong! The midwife came in and said that my mum had called to letme know she had locked her keys in the car, but would be here as soon as shecould. When mum arrived I was in constant pain, my eyes were closed and Iwas curled up against the side of the spa, crushing Simons hand with eachcontraction. Simon was trying to get me to breathe but I wasn't listening.Mum gave Simon a break, knelt down beside the spa and started to rub my backwith some aromathyrapy oils. She soon had me concentrating on my breathingwhich was a big help. It surprised me how much having her there helped. By4pm the midwife said to get me out of the spa, otherwise I would end uphaving my baby there. When I finally managed to get out, I had anotherinternal, but was barely 4cm. I was ready to give up, I was exhausted andcouldn't believe that after all that work, I still had a long way to go. Myolder sister Elizabeth arrived and I was glad she was there for me. I wasonly going to have my mum and Simon in with me but I asked Simon to tellElizabeth that if she wanted to, I would like her to be there for me. Shewas over the moon. Simon told his parents, who were waiting outside to gohome as it was going to be hours before their grandson arrived. The midwifeasked if I would like to try the gas, and once I had it they weren't gettingit back. It didn't really help with the pain, but I was using it to try andsleep. I just wanted to sleep but no one would let me. I couldn't even lieback inbetween contractions to rest, as it seemed to bring them on. Themidwife put the monitor back on to check the baby's heart, it was goingstrong, but as the midwife was hooking me up she placed all the wires overmy arm. When the next contraction hit I could get the gas to my face. Mumsaid she thought I was going to deck the midwife for getting in my way.Around 4.30, the midwife took Mum out and asked her to get me to havesomething more for the pain, as I was already exhausted & had a long way togo yet. Mum told me that I had to have some pethidine so I could get a bitof rest, otherwise I wouldn't be able to cope when it was time to push. Iwas dead set against having anything more then the gas, mainly because I wasscared about having a needle, believe it or not with all the pain I wasgoing through with the contractions. I was too much of a wimp to have aneedle. They eventually convinced me to at least get up and have a shower,and then see how I felt after that about having the pethidine. The midwifecame in and unhooked the drip so that I could get undressed and into theshower. At 10 to 5, I got to the shower and said I had to go to the toilet,so they helped to the loo and I sat down, let out an almighty scream andsaid I had to push. Back up on to the bed I went and when the midwifechecked I had gone from under 4cm to fully dilated in an hour. Our son wasready to enter the world! This was it, Mum said it wont be long now. Iscreamed the place down, the pain was like nothing I had ever felt. Simonhad to leave the room for a breather. I was surprised that he had managed tostay in at all. I pushed when they told me too and tried to breathe like Mumwas telling me, but all I could do was scream. Elizabeth ran out the room toget Simon, telling him to get back in there or he would miss it. He cameback and with him on one side and mum on the other, I held their hands andscreamed with another push. "I can see the head," Simon told me. The Midwifeasked if I would like to touch my baby's head, but I just wanted it out."Get it out, I feel like I'm on fire!" I screamed. Elizabeth said that Ididn't have to do this ever again, and I replied that I didn't want justone. I squeezed the hands I was clinging to and screamed again as they toldme to push . "The head is out!" I heard some one say. I open my eyes andlooked at Simon, could see the tears in his eyes as he watch our son beingborn. "Don't push," the midwife said, as they unwrapped the cord form aroundmy baby's neck. At 10 minutes past 5 with one more push out came theshoulders and then he slipped out and was up on my chest. I opened my eyesand looked at the beautiful baby in my arms and said " He just weed on me."Every one laughed. I watched as Simon cut the cord. I think that was theproudest moment of his life. We agreed that he would be named Evan James. Heweighed 3440gm (7lb 9oz) and was 50.5cm long. After all the worry that hewas going to be small, he was actually a good size. After I was cleaned upand back in the ward with our new son, I said that it wasn't true what everyone had told me, about as soon as I have my little baby in my arms that painwill be gone and I wouldn't remember. Elizabeth told me how happy she wasthat she got to share this special moment in our lives and that she willnever forget the look in her little sister's eyes as her baby entered theworld. She told me I looked lost in all the pain and fear, and that thescreams I let out sounded like something out of a horror movie. I thoughtthat I had my eyes shut the entire time. Mum was especially grateful thatshe got to experience the birth of her grandson first hand.It was the first time she had seen a baby being born and it was her littlegirl's. She didn't mind being slightly deaf from my screams and said thather hand would get better. I was so proud that I had managed to get throughthe day without any pain relief until the last hour of contractions. Ididn't sleep much that night either, I couldn't believe that I had been sotired but now my body just didn't want to sleep. The next day, I had a bruise across the bridge of my nose from the gas mask and red cracks on the topson my toes from pushing against the end of the bed so hard. I had a veryminor tear and a bit of grazing, but needed no stitches. I was surprisedthat with all the pain I hadn't been torn to shreds. After a few blistersfrom breastfeeding, I was told to pop another pillow under Evan so he was atthe right height. I soon got the hang of it and the blisters healed upreally fast. By day 4 my milk came in and I laughed as I told the midwifehow strange it felt to go to bed a 12A and wake up a 14C. My first week homewas a little hard, as the baby blues had set in. But things soon got better.
Evan went on to breastfeed untill he self weaned at around 20 months. I was pregnant with Glenn so I think this had something to do with it.